The Band

Dr Glenn ‘It Worked Earlier’ Macdonald-Jones still leads the attack with his unique ‘Vesuvius-style’ guitar and vocals hewn somewhere between Howlin’ Wolf and Marc Almond. Legend has it that his ‘Tainted Love’ still lingers around the streets of Shifnal. Few people are aware of his extensive cabling collection, which has won both plaudits & awards.

On bass, ever dependable is Emeritus Professor of bass frequencies at Kinshasa’s prestigious National Pedagogy University, Keith ‘The Lesser Spotted Woodpecker’ Newton. No one dare ask the derivation of his nickname, however his McCartney-like bass runs have attracted the interest of Macclesfield Town.

Benita ‘Don’t Call Me Applebum’ Guy is very much the peacock of the band. At rehearsal she sings all the songs, and only an elaborate and heady combination of translucent gaffa tape, Pinot Grigio and a system of mirrors restrict her live vocals. Feel free to encourage her when live. As you can imagine, she often dons a blonde wig to do her Richard Clayderman impression, and very good it is too.

Eamonn ‘Steady On, Vicar’ Dennis has brought a much needed drive to the band, with a drum style somewhere between Pete Thomas, Jimmy Cobb and Animal from The Muppets. He likes to tell the story of the Lithuanian Civil War between songs, and although we are unable to mike him up due to technical limitations, feel free to listen in. Incidentally, he largely blames Vytautas’ lack of a will after his death for the whole debacle.

Graham ‘Time for as Retune’ Kenyon completes the line up. Ever mysterious, he lists his hobbies in ‘Compound Semiconductor Magazine’ as ‘playing dice with Argentine sailors on the wharves of Canton; trying to find the chord of H; and searching for “The Lincolnshire Poacher” numbers station somewhere on the short wave’ Don’t ask, it’s not that interesting…

Spread the word, go wild in the country.